'Free' By Michael Harrison Fox

Life Update: Writing, Teething, and Computering, Oh My!

It's been a while since I posted any kind of update on what's going on in my life, so here goes:

I recently finished the START Hospitality course at Wake Tech. That course included getting certificates in ServSafe (passed), National Career Readiness Certificate (NCRC) Gold in all three specialties. (Still trying to determine who actually pays attention to that), TIPS Certification (Training for Intervention Something something... to help someone in the Food and Beverage industry determine when someone has had enough to drink), certification in the OPERA Property Management System used by Holiday Inn and other facilities. Used at the Front Desk. And finally the actual certificate for completing the program. I'm ideally looking for Front Desk or Night Auditor. I have had no luck so far. They claim 70% of the graduates get jobs, but I think most of those start out in the banquet or Food Service part and work their way up. However with my injuries, I can't handle banquets and other Food Service jobs, so I'll stick with what I can do.

And speaking of injuries, no real change in my shoulder or knee has occurred in months. They are both mildly disabling. I can't life things reliably. I can't run, therefore I can't move quickly enough for Food Service. I can walk easily enough most of the time, but every now and then my knee let's me know something is wrong, and I limp.

I have been in touch with Vocational Rehab and they have moved at a snail's pace, claiming they didn't get the information they needed. They have agreed to do two things: Get my teeth yanked (though I don't know when) and to pay for certification courses that will mean I'm qualified for a Network Administrator position. Entry level, if such a thing exists. But I will get A+ certified, Network+ and hopefully Security+ and Cisco certified. We'll see how well that goes.

I started writing a screenplay based on idea that's been prowling through my head for the last few weeks. The first draft took me 3 days. It's hand-written, and certainly needs work, but it was nice to finish something for a change. I also started on a novel form of the story. It's a techno/sci fi/thriller. It creeps me out and I'm the one who wrote it. It's called 'Soul Survivor.' I'll post more on that as I get it put into a computer. I'm quite happy with the plot, it just needs to be fleshed out a little.

The last bit of news has to do with the computer that was stolen from me in January. I heard rumors that a certain person might have it back in February, but it wasn't enough to take to the police. In March, a friend came to me and told me he knew who had it, and the guy was willing to sell it back to me for $80. It took me a while to raise $80, but when I did, the guy then said he left it at his girlfriend's place and they're not talking any more. I gave him a week to get his stuff together, and haven't heard back from him. So yesterday I filed a new report with the Raleigh PD, telling them what I know and suspect, including the guy's phone number. I'm keeping my $80. If the guy gets arrested for it, and his girl too, well, he brought it on himself. He had ample opportunity to return it to me.

Shelter Life: The Walking Wounded

It seems like every time I walk around the shelter these days I see people who are walking with the aid of walkers, or crutches, or not walking at all because they are in wheelchairs. I see arms in slings and legs in casts. The numbers are increasing, not decreasing.

I hear coughing all the time, and not just from me. The guy who just moved into the bed next to me coughed so hard that he passed out, and he says it's happened before. He refused to be taken to the hospital for whatever the reason.

People think of homeless as bums who just want a hand out. As one who is one of those walking wounded, I object to the stereotype. But my wounds are not obvious. I can walk, though with a limp. I walk in pain, though not a great deal of it, but if I go downstairs or upstairs, you may notice me taking them one at a time. I walk up a step with my left leg then bring my right leg with me. Repeat as necessary. The opposite is true, even more so, because stepping down on my right leg causes more pain and I'm afraid that the leg will give in.

My shoulder is even less obvious, unless I am requested to lift something. I got chewed out by another homeless guy because he didn't see anything wrong with me. Use your eyes, please.

The point is, though, that everyone's perception is different and you can't tell a book from its cover. Even though my body is not at 100%, my mind is. Give me something to do with my mind. I'll prove it.

In other news, I am taking the START Hospitality course at Wake Tech, and as the course draws to a close, the opportunities are starting to open up. For instance i had an interview yesterday at a Hilton Garden Inn in Raleigh, and the manager there apparently knew the guy who runs the Hospitality course. With my teeth the way they are (come on, Voc Rehab, get your a$$ in gear) I don't think I made a very good impression, but at least I am making the effort, and just getting the interview is an experience that will help with other interviews.

Hope is all I have left at this point.

Personal Space

While riding the bus today, I had a guy sit next to me, and he sat very close. I mean very close. I usually just shift my position to allow for a little personal space but then a turn came and the man leaned into me. I asked him politely not to do that, but the man didn't seem to hear me. I forced my arm in between us and he seemed to get the idea, but never said a word for the entire trip, and never moved further away.

I bring this up because in the shelter space is extremely limited. First, you sleep in a bunk bed, with maybe 4 feet between you and the bunk above. The guy in that bunk moves, the whole bunk moves. You feel it, upper or lower. Second, the space between bunks is about 3-4 feet. The guy next to you sneezes or coughs, you get splattered. I've splattered a few myself lately. It's not intentional. I've seen the guy in the next bunk sitting on his bunk, his knees a few inches from my bunk and that makes me nervous, for some reason. The person in the bunk above me, for whatever the reason, likes to stand up and putter around his bunk. Which means his body is too close to mine. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

In the dining hall, when we line up for breakfast or dinner, some people simply get too close. When we sit at the tables, there are not individual chairs, it's a bench, and some people like to get close then too. I had one of my friends tell me that one time the guy behind me was trying to touch my back in a less than friendly manner, or perhaps too friendly is the right phrase.

I'm not homophobic, I have a few gay friends. I am not gay. I don't like being touched by any man, that's just the way I am. Even a pat on the back can seem like an invasion of my space.

There are a number of guys in the shelter that have problems sharing a shower. I'm not one of them. Earlier today there was almost a fight because someone was insisting on taking a shower alone. In my dorm there are 40 guys, and 7 shower heads. There aren't enough hours in the day for everyone to take a private shower. So you can see the problem.

In the shelter personal space is at a premium. As the center manager, Frank Lawrence has said, 'for you to survive the shelter, you have to adapt.' It's not an easy task.

Potpourri - Of Biblical Origins and Other Stuff

I went to a church in Sunday! *Gasp* Yes, I am an avowed Agnostic, but I'm not above going to church in this case because they give away free bus passes sometimes.

Anyway, I was actually reading the Old Testament and it occurred to me, like so many other that in the Bible the first man was Adam, the first Woman Eve, and they had sons, who then married and went on to have children of their own, and so on and so on...

Except where did Cain and Abel's wives come from? An age old question for Non-Believers such as myself.

So I gave that some of the logical thought that I am capable of and I came to the conclusion that Adam and Eve were not the first humans on the planet. They were the first Hebrews. To me that is the only thing that makes sense. Of course those that wrote the Bible thought that their people were the chosen ones and all others were less than chosen. So this whole concept of the world or even civilization beginning in 4000 B.C. is simply when the Hebrews began, and not the real beginning.

Now that we have that mystery solved, let's move on. Let's all move on.

In my personal life, things are moving... slowly. I continue to look for work and continue to get denied. I have been to a doctor about my shoulder, paid for by Project Access of Wake County, and had an MRI done on the shoulder. The results were that I have a slight tear of my rotator cuff and a slight muscle tear that is causing most of the pain I feel.l But the lack of movement of my shoulder and the weakness of the arm itself is due to nerve damage. I am awaiting approval for an EMG, a nerve test to confirm this and to confirm the extent of the damage. But in the end, the only thing that will heal nerve damage is time. The doctor said 18 months, but it has already been a year. So I wait.

And while I'm waiting for that, I'm also waiting on Vocational Rehabilitation. They have now confirmed that I have a problem with my shoulder and knee. I just went for a vocational assessment with their counselor, and he agrees that I am capable of handling computer training courses and will recommend that Voc Rehab pay for getting computer certification. But he has to file his report and my case worker has to schedule a meeting once that is done. So another 2-3 weeks of waiting for that. Seems like all I do is wait. Yet I don't have the resources to dive in myself. So I will wait. Like I have been since September.

In the shelter life goes on. A long-time resident there finally got his own apartment, and I'm told he misses the social structure of the shelter. His friends are worried he may turn to drinking again. That is something I can't relate to. As the counselor confirmed for me, I do indeed have an INTP personality. He gave me a description of it and one of the blurbs there says that I'm at home wandering through my own mind. The best description of me ever written. But he says it's a good thing because INTP's make good computer people.

In other news at the shelter, a crackdown has begun on people who have been in the program more than a year. People are being forced to leave. They may eventually get to me, so I have to keep my nose to the grindstone. A new training class is starting next week, for those interested in a career in hospitality. That includes waiters, which I couldn't do even before my shoulder got injured. But what does interest me are things like Front Desk Clerks and Night Auditors. I could do those things. Right now every bit of training I can get will be much appreciated.

So life does indeed go on, and days are starting to blur together. All I can do, though is hope that something happens that changes that. I can't rely on others to help me, but when they do, I can't turn them down either.

That's all for now. Have a wonderful March!

Santa Claus is Homeless

That's right, we have our very own Santa Claus at South Wilmington Street Center. His real name is Bradlee, but he answers to Santa and Santa Claus, because he looks like Santa.

Sadly though, he does not share Santa's magical nature. He is over 400 lbs, has Diabetes and breathing issues, to the point where he uses a machine to help him breathe. His legs and feet are discolored, and he can barely walk.

He used to be in the Merchant Marines, and has stories to tell from that era. He showed me a picture of Hiroshima after the bomb dropped and also ones he took there recently.

He was most recently a cab driver, but lost that job when the company he worked for made him take a physical, which he failed.

Yet he can be jovial at times. During Christmas he wore a red Santa hat and I'm sure the kids who came in to help serve thought he might be Santa. But this Santa is sick. A sick as the real Santa would be if he were not magical. He just got approved for Medicaid and is fighting for disability benefits.

Yes, Santa is homeless, jobless and sick and relying on the government for help. Let's hope this Santa gets his wish!

Smokers Need Not Apply

I've made it pretty clear in my posts that I'm a non-smoker. I'm allergic to smoke. I cough, I hack, I CAN'T BREATHE when I get near cigarette smoke.

So why is it, when I sit on a bench that is clear of smoke, that someone either decides to light one up, or worse, someone sits down close to me and lights one up? It happens all the time. At the bus transfer station when I'm waiting for a bus and they're NOT ALLOWED to smoke, on a bench while I wait for the library to open, at any bus stop where there's more than just me waiting, etc.

The latest statistics I've seen about smokers tell me that about a third of Americans smoke. So why is it that I get saddled with these inconsiderate jerks ALL THE TIME?

I'll tell you: It's because there are more poor, undereducated people who smoke than who don't smoke. So the people who can't afford a car and have to take the bus are more likely to smoke. The people who go to the library because they don't have a computer at home or worse don't have a home are more likely to smoke.

And the worst part is, they don't care that I cough and hack when they light up. They don't care that they could get a $200 ticket for lighting up in Moore Square. They try to hide it from the 'police' that enforce the ban. And the police don't seem to care much either, so smoking is on the rise there.

All because people don't care about how their smoking affects others.

Of all the living things that God has created in all of eternity, tobacco is the worst.

You can quote me on that.

Michael Harrison Fox