Potpourri for the End of the Worl... er, Year

A few last thoughts for the end of this, whatever it might be.

Kinda on a deadline here, so let's get underway!

- Another school shooting. I wanted to wait until we found out more before posting on it. Seeing way too much blame on a 'Godless society,' or 'Godless Schools.' The man was mentally ill, was apparently going to be committed by his mother and he got to her guns first. Would changes to the gun laws have helped that? No. Would a more secure school have stopped him? Apparently he shot his way in. So no. The simple fact is, there was nothing that could have prevented him from doing what he did except his mother never having owned guns in the first place. A ban on assault rifles is a nice place to start, though. How much fire power do you need to kill a deer? Just my two cents on that topic.

- I've suffered from two different types of flu in the last 3 weeks. I'm still recovering from the second one. A flu shot might have helped with one, but probably not both. I suffer in relative silence.

- I finished my Medical Front Office class, and got my certificate. I'm happy about that, and have put it on my resume. Now it's a matter of finding the right job, right? amiright? Hello? Any jobs out there?

- I've had a number of fever-related dreams lately, one entailed a story where 3 cultures clash, one believes in Spirit Guides, one in nature as a god, and the last believed in (dammit I can't remember right now!). They had a Native American feel to them, but the images that came to me of the men involved looked more European. Perhaps this is another planet we're talking about. Anyway, the point is one of the men has a 2-year-old daughter that is destined to draw all 3 cultures together to live in peace. I'm not sure how this happens yet, but I'll put it on my pile of ideas, which seems to grow larger every day.

- Had another idea, not during a dream, but while playing a game, of creating my own MMO game - 'World of Stickcraft' ;-) That has no graphics, just a 3D engine with stick figures. Might be something simple enough for one person to program. Not sure if I want to make this an epic adventure involving fantasy races, alien races, humans at war, or my favorite so far, all of the above and more. Something that combines all the other types of role-playing, fantasy, real life, space opera and mashes it all into one game. I'll think about that while I'm applying for jobs.

That's all that's currently running through my head. I hope you have a happy end of the world or Christmas/New Year, which ever comes to pass!

The Evolution of My Sanity

I was bored the other day and started looking at my blog archives. When I started this blog I was working for Alpine Access, from home. I didn't get out much because it was cold and I was poor. But I was working, and playing, and writing (Oh My!).

The first blogs were me explaining myself, my personality, a little about my job and a little about my gaming. Then things started getting serious as I became homeless for the first time in 5 years.

I realized that I have not had a 'permanent' home since 2010. I've lived outside the shelter for short periods. But I haven't had a place to call my own in that long.

Maybe that's for the best for me. I've found if I'm too comfortable then I don't want things to change. And I DO want things to change. I want my writing to be 'discovered' and paid for. I want my videos to be 'discovered' and generate ad income. I want - in short - for people to discover me, and that is what bothers me the most - not that I haven't been discovered so much but that I'd WANT to be discovered.

I've been an introvert my entire life. I don't even know how anyone can be anything but an introvert or an extrovert, but apparently it's possible for some people to switch between worlds. But the point is, I'd like nothing better than to be alone for the better part of my life. But sadly for me, unless you inherit money, and I didn't, you gotta work to pay the bills, or live off the land, which I'm definitely not suited for.

I've read articles on good jobs for introverts. Computer programmer came up. I've tried that. Unless you're writing apps in the privacy of your home, you still have to report to someone.

Self promotion has always been hard for me. Yet I can still force myself to
appear eager during an interview. I hate being forced to do anything. Promotion for writing, however, is another tale, and I can attest that writing is the hardest field for an introvert like me to break into. Not the writing part. That's easy for an introvert. What's hard is the schmoozing that takes place when you're trying to sell your  work.

'If you build it, they will come...' Oh how I wish that were true. Oh how I wish I could just plug all my writing down, oh, say, in a blog, and people would flock to it. Some people make a living blogging. I make pennies a day. I guess what I need are interesting things to say, or images of cats in cute positions.

I love cats but I won't exploit them - much.

I'm at a crossroads here. I have so many things I'd like to do, so many people I'd like to help. And in the process help myself. I've been reading successful blogs, wanting to know what makes them successful. It helps to be famous already. I'm tempted to make use of my name (Michael Fox for those that don't know) and feed off of people who think I'm the actor.

I'm rambling now, aren't I? This is how my mindset works. One idea comes into my head for a minute, then goes out the ears the next, replaced by a different idea. 'Normal' people have no idea how this works. 'Crazy' comes to mind. But as the name of the blog insists, I'm sane.

How do I know this? Well, I'm not certified if that's what you mean. I've never even talked to a psychiatrist. I know I'm sane because I read about insane people, and I see crazier people than I'll ever be every day. I'm sane because they're not. They give me a good sense of what the extreme is. I don't even think I'm borderline crazy. I'm frustrated as hell, but not crazy.

What's the point of this blog? You tell me!

/rant