Back in the saddle again

There's this scene from M*A*S*H where Frank Burns, after not seeing Margaret Houlihan for some time, thinks he's going to see her and puts on cologne while clucking to the tune of 'Back in the saddle again.' "Buck buck, buck buck buck, buck buck."

I kinda feel that way at the moment, not from a romantic perspective, but from a formerly homeless, formerly paying outrageous amounts to live in a motel, to a finding a place to live and having things go in a positive manner for the first time in ages, since the end of August 2015.

I have not only found a place to live with a co-worker in Jacksonville, but he has a car he wants to sell me. That car is far from perfect, but if I can get it running, it may be a lifesaver.

Also, for the first time since the end of August, I'm posting long overdue videos made in July and August, and made my first Warcraft video since then, because I now have access to my desktop computer that I built (and recorded building) back in July.

I'm far from settled, still physically exhausted and mentally questionable to a certain degree, but I think the tide has turned.

At any rate, things are looking up, and on Christmas day no less. I guess Christmas miracles do happen.

Hope your holiday is as hopeful as mine!

Write What You Know

As a writer, that mantra has been repeated over and over again: Write what you know.

Of course, if that were really true, there would be no Science Fiction or Fantasy. So what they really mean by that would be: write your characters based on your own experiences.

So for my own characters, at some point in the story they might be:

homeless
struggling
introverted
smart
but not perfecgt (SIC), (Heh, funny that I wrote it like that the first time, then decided not to correct it, since it fit in.),
wandering with no real focus on what they should be doing
naive
but not completely hopeless
trusting
reaching for something, but not knowing what (Goes back to wandering I know)
adept at something they don't like to do, but have to do it to pay the bills
knowing that there's something beyond this life than heaven and hell or purgatory


All of which I have experienced in my lifetime.

In the current Simmons Chronicles series, I've managed to put most of that into several different characters, as well as some life experiences. I hope it makes the characters believable.

As the second part of that series comes to life I'll be adding to that. That book will show a definite decline for a couple of the characters (I won't say which), but since I tentatively titled it 'Darkness' that should be considered a clue. It begins light, then one character falls into darkness, followed - literally by another who is searching for that person as well as searching for him/herself, then both come rising just as things get really dark. The story ends very dark, yet not without hope.

The story of my life.

Why I try hard not to live in a Shelter

Recently, I fought hard to not have to live in the shelter system again. I asked friends and family for help. Some of them asked why I would try that hard, even living in $100/day motel rooms just to avoid living in the shelter. Here are some of the reasons:

Why I try hard not to live in a Shelter

It's not just because of the crowded nature of shelters

Waiting for a bed

or the fact that there might not be enough room from night to night
or that beds are less than 2 feet apart
or that you will likely get your stuff stolen at least once in your shelter stay (4 times so far)
or that staff has seen it all and can appear uncaring
or that the food is designed to fill bellies but not to provide full nutrition
or that you have to put up with the unwashed
or that some of the people are drunk or high
or that some of the people choose to fight
or that I get searched every time I enter a shelter
or that I have to take a shower with 6-7 other men at a time
or that I have to see those men walk around naked
or that I have to squeeze in between those men to get to my locker
or that there are 10 inches of locker space before the next one
or that men snore at all hours
or that some lights are on in the dorm, if you're unlucky enough to be close to them, you can't sleep
or that you have to get up at 5am
or that have to wait in line to get fed
or that you have to wait to get your bed
or that you have to be in the shelter by a certain time to get a bed
or that some people like to talk while you want to sleep
or that men cough all through the night
or that diseases spread more easily in the closed confines of a shelter
or that once you're in, you can't leave until the morning
or that in some shelters you have to listen to a sermon
or that sometimes they make you dress in their clothes, that are either like burlap bags or prison-issue clothes
or that sometimes you can see the men's butts hanging out of their shelter-issued clothes
or that you lose control of your life when you enter the shelter
or that you lose dignity on entering the shelter.

I try to stay out of the shelter for all those reasons. Unfortunately, I failed in my attempt to stay out of the shelter, so I have to suffer through all of this.

Edit: One more note before I end this particular rant: Imagine doing this for a day, then imagine that day stretching out to another day, then a week, a month, and yes, even years. Welcome to my world. I hope my current time in the shelter won't stretch that far, but every day takes a physical and mental toll. Imagine how relieved I was to get out the last time. It will be double that this time.

How Was My First Day on the MBTA?

How Was My First Day on the MBTA?

I'm glad you asked. Let me tell you, step by step, how my day went.

1. After having zonked out before the Super Bowl ended, from exhaustion after dragging 1 heavy bag, a computer bag and a laden backpack all over Wakefield, I woke at 5am and prepared for my first day in Boston as a working stiff. Mind you, I had done my research, knew what bus to take and where to catch the subway. I went out into the stinging snow with just my computer case and my winter coat, layered over more clothes.

2. I went out of the motel where I'm staying (God help me it better be temporary) at 6am, knowing it would take me a few minutes to trudge through the snow to where the bus would stop.

3. And waited.

4. And waited. The snow stung, my feet felt frozen and I almost got run over by a snow plow while I waited for the bus. I seriously thought about going back to the motel and working from there, But I wanted to make the commute. Finally a bus came out of the quarter-mile visibilty, but IT was on time. The bus I wanted never came. Cue eerie portents of evil music and echos of frustration.

5. Yet a bus did come and I made it to Oak Grove T station at a point where I knew I would be late, so I called it in. It's a funny thing about subway stations: Any time stairs are involved there is an escalator going up, but not generally one going down. With my gimpy leg, and especially with icy/snow-covered steps, I took one step at a time. I think that cost me missing one train into the city, adding to my delay.

6. Yet into the city I ultimately traveled. I was lucky to have been at the beginning of the Orange Line when I caught the train, because as we traveled toward the city, more and more people got on. Even on a snowy, blustery day, people were willing to make the commute in. The whole train was packed by the time we got to my destination: North Station.

7. From North Station I was supposed to catch a shuttle to the building where I work. I'm grateful they provide the service, but I didn't know where to meet the shuttle, so I called my boss, who promptly told me he didn't have a clue, he always used the shuttle at South Station. He gave me the number of someone in the building, but he only took the South shuttle too. He suggested I ask around. I noticed most people heading in one direction, so I followed them. I found about half a dozen shuttles idling outside. Naturally mine was the last one.

8. The shuttle trip was uneventful, except for the slow pace of it. The driver took it nice and easy going in, and at that point I was just grateful I made it in. I got to work about an hour late.

9. After work, I took the shuttle back to North Station, and waited for the Orange Line train to come.

10. And waited.

11. And waited. I figure I spent more time waiting for trains and buses than actally traveling in them. The sign said the train would arrive in 15 minutes, then 12, then 8, then 2, then 2, then 2, then 2. The train did come eventually, and then they tried to close the doors. Bing Bong. One of the doors didn't close properly, the opened the door and tried to close them again. Bing Bong. Again. Bing Bong.

12. At this point I hear the voice of an old woman rise about the fray, cursing MBTA and accusing the conductor of 'playing with the doors.' She was loud, she was obnoxious. She was swearing so much a sailor would be embarrassed, and this continued for a good 15 minutes until finally, someone gave the ok to ignore the warning. We began to pull out and then the train slammed on the brakes. Old fussypants starts to rant and rave again.

13. Finally, we did pull out, but we were very slow throughout the process. Sparks flew from the top of the rain, and really made me worry something was going to catch fire. I know that sparking is normal, though I don't know why it happens. The lights would go out over and over, setting off the mentally ill woman who I coujld see by now was sitting in a corner with two full shopping carts filled with ????? And in case we couldn't figure it out by then, she shouted that she was homeless and if we didn't like that we could kill her now. She spoke to the air and to her self.

Part of me really felt for her. The formerly homeless part. The other part of me said this is why homeless people have a bad name. Part of me wanted to reach out, but then she started stinking, and I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. At the end of the line, the train went out of service and she demanded one of us help her get her carts out. She didn't want the help of the MBTA, and said we'd all die if we didn't help her. My sympathy only goes so far. If you can't help yourself, and aren't willing to seek the help of those trained to help you, then how am I supposed to help you? I care, but you're making it very difficult, lady.

14. Finally the train took me and Miss Stinkyfussypants to Oak Grove and I got off as quickly as I could, one more leg to go before getting home. So I waited, along with half a dozen others for the bus to take me home.

15. And waited.

16. And waited. Given how many people were waiting, and the nature of subway trains, you'd think MBTA would have buses running more often after 7pm. It makes for a very tiring day to work 8-5 in Boston.

Suffice to say, the last bus came and I am home, warm, dry and ready for bed.

I will find someplace a bit closer in the long run, but until then, I have to play the Mass Transit game.

Politics: Same Dance, Different Tune

The votes have been counted and Republicans have taken over the Senate AND the House. Here are my predictions for the next 2 years:

1. Republicans will attempt to repeal 'Obamacare', and I hope against hope that Obama will veto it. I suppose that's more of a wish than a prediction but the alternative would be really strange. Why would Obama let his signature piece of legislation be overturned? Sadly, there are signs he's willing to compromise, and his Health Care Act might suffer. What was the point of the last 6 years again? SMH.

2. The homeless and poor will be ignored or treated badly. It's been a part of being a Republican that if you are not rich, your needs will not be addressed, because it's your own fault. I wonder what Lincoln would make of his party now?

3. The environment will take a hit. Because giving businesses free reign to misuse land, air and sea will create a few jobs. I really fear Fracking will cause more problems that cure them. Better move away from the ocean unless you like living under water.

4. Business deregulation will mean higher bonuses for corporate executives and increased layoffs for front-line workers. It seems odd to me that corporations would pay bonuses with one hand while taking jobs with the other hand, but this is the way corporations act lately. If I were to suggest a piece of corporate legislation, I'd do one where no corporation can give executive bonuses in a year where layoffs occur, and no layoffs are to be done until executive wages are decreased. Just my .02.

5. Jobs will continue to be outsourced, mostly to other countries. It's the thing, now, for corporations to cease hiring front-line workers themselves and instead hire other companies to handle things like customer service and tech support. I fall under the latter of that. In the long run they save money on wages and benefits. It gives them the appearance of having more employees than they do, and of having higher wages, because the staffing company pays the employees, and you know they're paying the least they can. And when things go sour, they can just end the contract and hire a new staffing company. I really think a national strike of all front-line workers is needed to let corporations know just exactly what we do for them. But that's an idea for another blog. ;-)

6. The budget will not be balanced and the deficit will not be reduced. Despite Republican claims of Democrats being 'tax and spend', really, this is how bills get paid. Nothing will change that. Or if they do, the wealthy will be taxed less, and therefore less money will come in, and how can you get a balanced budget if there is no excess?

7. The recovery will falter and everyone will blame Obama, when really, it's corporate America that will be the cause. Because...

8. Obama will cave into all Republican demands, except, hopefully, ObamaCare. It's what he did when he first got elected. It didn't work. It still won't work, but at least Obama can say 'I told you so.' Sadly, America will suffer because Obama's not really an effective leader. There, I said it. His message of hope turned into 'Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore.'

There's a reason so many Republicans went after Democratic incumbents by saying they voted with Obama x% of the time. Yet what do people expect? Have you never heard the term 'along party lines?' It's what both Democrats and Republicans do. I'm amazed that Democratic incumbents let that stand. In an ever increasing hostile political fight they never thought to say, 'everyone does it?'

Because this is how Reps and Senators get their power, by being compliant to their party's leaders, who went through the same dance when they were first elected. Newly elected Senator Thom Tillis from NC is a prime example. he used the 'Kate Hagen voted with Obama 95% (or 96 or 97 depending on the time of day) of the time' schpiel over and over again and says he'll act more independently. BS. The man comes from a powerful position in the NC legislature and he'll want to consolidate whatever power he can and he'll toe the Republican line every time until he's in a position to make the line.

And this is what I hate most about politicians. They are not true representatives of the American people. They are corporate shills, or special interest fodder.

I renew my call for a 'Middle of the Road' party. We are locked into one extreme or another that benefits one side or the other, leaving those in the middle in their philosophies shaking their heads and wondering what can be done.

I Deserve To Be Treated Bad - I'm Poor

I rarely blog about politics, but that doesn't mean I don't take an interest in what goes

on nationally and locally in NC. Having been homeless, received Food Stamps, and attempted

to get subsidized housing, I've followed the antics of the NC legislature for some time

now.

Since the Republicans took over complete control of NC politics, law after law has been

passed whose only affect is to make it harder to be poor, jobless and/or homeless. In 2011

I followed the Occupy movement, not as a participant, but as an observer, taking videos of

protests that even now are on my youtube channel. I thought the protests were valid and

were a way to show how unhappy the protesters were with the status quo.

Sadly nothing major came out of that movement. Instead when the legislature began to churn

out anti-poor laws, the movement transformed into Moral Mondays: protests every Monday

while the legislature was in session. I never got a chance to participate in those

protests. I was jobless and living in the shelter, where if I wanted to get fed and have a

bed, I needed to be in the shelter by 6pm.

But those protests go on, and arrests come almost weekly. The legislature tried to change

the rules so that they couldn't be as vocal as they had been. The courts denied that rule,

and as such, arrests are still being made, in relatively small amounts.

I would not say I have ever been politically-active, but that doesn't mean I don't care

about the direction this state is going. I like living in NC. The weather is relatively

mild, the trees are beautiful, most of the people have a form of southern charm, and there

is the kind of technology here that I can sink my teeth into (well, if I still had

teeth!). I don't want to leave.

And yet the state is simply becoming too hostile to those of us who are dreamers; who care

less about money and power and more about art, writing and, you know, Liberal things, like

housing and feeding the poor, helping the sick and injured.

Even with a job that has become full-time, I find it hard to make ends meet without

turning to help. I'm so tempted to temporarily move back into the shelter to put together

enough money so I can find an apartment. But then I realized there are people much worse

off than me who need that bed more. People made that way by laws passed by Republicans,

either in NC or Federal, who seem to go out of their way to make the poor suffer even more

than they already do.

So my questions are: a) How can the poor help themselves if they keep getting pushed down

by Republicans and b) what are the rest of us going to do about it?

My stepfather has to be a Republican, because his philosophy even before my mother died

was that if I get into trouble, I need to work my way out of it. After she died and I

became homeless (entirely my fault, by the way), I asked him for help, and was turned

down, saying the gravy train was over. He'd rather his stepson live on the streets than

lend a hand, and this is symptomatic of the Republican attitude.

Because no one who works hard should ever be unemployed.

Because if you can't find a job you're not working hard enough.

Back in the late 80's I attended a series of courses that taught electronics at a local

'college'. I applied for a student loan to cover the $2500 tuition for a 4 month course.

When I was done it helped me land a job troubleshooting slot machines and video gaming

equipment. Unfortunately the education I received wasn't really adequate for the position

and that job fell away.

But the student loan remained.

Over the years since then, going from job to job, I have paid what I can afford on that

loan, defaulted when I could not pay, and have seen the loan sold at least twice. The

amount of interest charged on this loan far exceeds the original $2500 I took out. In fact

the current value of the loan is around $8,000, and I've probably paid $5,000 on it since

1989.

I bring this up in this blog to point out that I tried to do things the way the

Republicans want me to. I tried to get an education, and partially succeeded, but because

I never really completed a Bachelor's Degree (I have an Associate's), my ability to find a

well-paying job was hampered, and now I have to compete with students half my age with an

up-to-date education on paper (though my worldly knowledge is vast).

And to top it off, all my tax refunds, Federal and State, get confiscated to pay off that

loan. Worse yet, the interest exceeds my ability to pay it off, and I never will pay it

off unless something miraculous happens and I sell a script or a book.

But don't feel bad for me. I'm poor and I deserve the kind of treatment I'm getting. Just

ask the Republicans.

I Have a JOB!!!!!!

Just in time for the holiday season, I got a call for an interview for a job as a Help Desk Analyst at Astadia, one of those call centers that has multiple clients and has gone through many name changes over the last few years.

I really didn't expect to hear from them, but I was overjoyed first by getting an interview, then having a really good interview, then after a two day wait, hearing that I got the job!

It is part-time, around 30 hours a week, but the hourly rate is sufficient that I can consider it full-time. I'm going through training now!

And this time, I suspect I can stick it out. Management seems to be easier to work with than Xerox and the clientele is not the general public. So I'm really hopeful that this one will last.

I will post more as I get time!!!

Thanks to all who have shown empathy for my situation. It has been almost 3 years since I left my last job. For me this is nothing short of a Christmas Miracle.

The Hearth Act: An Open letter to the ACLU, Wake County, Congress and President Obama

In a previous blog, I went over my reasons for believing that the Hearth Act is not working as intended.

Since that time I have been told that I had spent my last night at South Wilmington Street Center (SWSC) in Raleigh, NC, later rescinded by the Case Manager after I complained that my First Amendment Rights had been violated.

At the same meeting he warned me that my time was coming, but that he would give me proper notice when that was decided. Since then, however, I have seen subtle warnings, one might say harassment, that impending doom is falling: My facilitator warning the whole jobs group I must attend once a week that if we didn't do EXACTLY as she says - including applying for a job at a Pawn Shop that hasn't publicly run job ads, and applying at Toys R Us (sorry, can't make a backwards 'R' here), both of which would require me to lift no matter what the position. I can't lift heavy objects. I have no strength or stamina in my right arm. But if we don't do exactly as we're told we could be asked to leave the shelter with no notice.

I have noticed an increased number of residents who have been asked to leave for minor infractions of the rules, such as a friend who was asked to leave after he was given a breathalyzer and blew .01, to which he attributed to mouth wash.

Now in the shelter's defense, because I want this to be a fair article, Frank Lawrence, the center director has warned us about using mouthwash with alcohol in it, but really, .01?

I'm not immune to the harassment. In addition to the premature ejection with no notice, which I'm certain as initiated by someone who read my last blog, and the harassment of a facilitator who likes to remind me that my time is short, and there are no excuses, I came back from class last night to find that someone hadn't entered my alert, which gives me permission to stay out of the shelter past 7pm. I rolled in at 11:30, which has been usual for me on Mondays and Wednesdays the last 4 weeks, and was told no alert existed, though one seemed to exist on Monday night when I rolled in at the same time. If there was no alert for Wednesday, then why was there one for Monday, when both were submitted on the same sheet last week?

The long and short of that is that I was breathalyzed and passed. The minor infraction of coming into the shelter late was not due to my neglect. If it was not put in, I have no control over that, but my concern is that it will be used against me to force me out of the shelter.

Once you are forced out of the shelter, you cannot come back for 90 days. This is a fairly recent addition to the mix of penalties SWSC has added in the last 18 months. They are there to drive men out of the shelter and keep them out, halting, ever so briefly, the revolving door I described in my last shelter blog. All the changes are due to pressure put on SWSC by Wake County officials. They claim it is due to the Hearth Act.

The thing is, I've read the Hearth Act and nowhere in it does it suggest that limiting shelter stays and keeping homeless men out of the shelter is the proper course of action. In fact, the Hearth Act is designed to eliminate homelessness by 2015. That is in its stated goals. You can't end homelessness by driving the homeless out of shelters, onto the streets or woods, and keeping them out of the shelter.

Therefore I submit that SWSC is in violation of the Hearth Act.

What do I want from this?

I want it explained to me how an act that is meant to help can be so perverted that it can be used to drive men out of shelters and keep them out.

I want to know what local, county, state and Federal authorities are going to do about this.

I want the spirit of the Hearth Act followed and homelessness truly eradicated, not shoved under a rug. 'Homeless? We've got no homeless. Just check the shelters.' Meanwhile men continue to live under overpasses, in the woods around SWSC, on benches and other less than happy places.

I want a permanent place to call home, not just for me, but for all homeless. Because shelter life sucks, is marginally above being in prison, though not as bad as living in the streets. It is not the life I choose. It is the life I am forced into because I am having such a hard time finding a job.

Frank Lawrence, the center director at SWSC, keeps saying that he never refuses a request for help. Frank, consider this my official request for help. Can you give me what I need to get out of the shelter and off the streets?

How the Hearth Act Isn't Helping Homeless

Last week, during the regular Wednesday meeting at South Wilmington Street Center (SWSC), in Raleigh, NC, the center director, Frank Lawrence, told the collected faces of those homeless men living in the shelter that they had 30 days to find a job and then 30 days to find housing, or (assumably) they would be required to leave the program.

I was at a class when this happened, but the way everyone is talking about it, it's a done deal. Frankly, this stunned me, though, really it shouldn't have. Let me go into a little bit of the background of how SWSC has worked in the past.

As I stated in my book: 'Project Five-Star: The Five Points of Hope,' I've been coming to SWSC off and on since 2005. I'm currently in my 4th iteration of coming to the shelter. I come there because I have no job and no other place to live. That's what a shelter is for.

To put it simply, the only way you could be put out of SWSC was to break the rules. For whatever the reason, many of the men in the shelter seem eager to test the rules. For instance, the guy in the bed next to mine not only has food in the dorm, an infraction, but eats it late at night. So at 2:30 in the morning when I should be sleeping, the noise of his crunching penetrates my earplugs and wakes me up. Normally I turn a blind eye to such behavior, but this morning, I reported him. SWSC is short of staff, though, because of budget cuts and these things often slip by the wayside.

Cell phone use is also prevalent in the dorms, when that's also verboten. Why do they do it then? I think it's systematic of why they're in the shelter in the first place: They challenge authority, and sometimes authority bites back.

So the bottom line for SWSC was a kind of revolving door. Even now I see the same faces I saw back in 2005 when I first entered the shelter. They come in, use the emergency list to maybe get a bed for the night, get back on the waiting list for the program, get into the program, then after a few weeks break a rule and are asked to leave, starting the process all over again.

But those that follow the rules and make an effort to keep out of trouble and the sight of staff, didn't used to have to worry about leaving the shelter. But during Wednesday night meetings when the center director, Frank Lawrence, gets us all together, he began to warn us that things were changing. Something called the 'Hearth Act' loomed and the shelter was going to change.

In 2012 I was unemployed, living at the shelter and trying to find work when I was hit by a car. My shoulder was dislocated and ligaments in my knee were torn. My job search was temporarily put on hold while I healed. After two months of healing, I received a small settlement that barely dented my medical bills, but gave me a little bit to live off. I left the shelter to do some traveling and see if I couldn't start my own business. When the money ran out, I came back to the shelter, technically still healing, but a little bit more mobile than I was before. I found that times had indeed changed in the 4 months I had been away.

Now we have to report to groups based on what we were doing. Despite the fact that I was still injured and can not do physical labor, I was put in a group that was supposed to be searching for a job. We were told that our beds were only guaranteed for one week at a time (if we followed the rules) and at any point, we could be asked to leave the shelter if we did not follow the rules, which included weekly status meetings.

But the changes weren't all bad. The shelter now offered classes on a variety of topics, mostly given by Wake Technical Community College. They included truck driving classes, hospitality, agriculture, and such skills that some employers were looking for. I took advantage of the Hospitality class.

Yet despite all that I still could not find a job in a field that I could perform. Manual labor is right out, as I can't do any heavy lifting. I can't stand for long periods of time, as my knee gets very stiff. So three-fourths of the jobs that were presented by our 'facilitator', or group leader, were not an option for me. The ones I can do, however, have a large number of applicants, and would you rather hire a 20-something with energy or a fifty-something who looks like a truck ran over him? (It was a car.)

So after almost a year of being in the shelter, I was presented with a notice that said I had 30 days to find work or find housing or I would have to leave the shelter. I was very despondent.

But a ray of hope appeared in the form of a Section 8 voucher from the Raleigh Housing Authority (RHA). I thought my wishes had come true and that soon I would be out of the shelter.

The voucher from RHA had two limits to it: The amount of rent it would pay was limited to $526/month, and it had to be used within 60 days or it would expire. I thought for sure that I'd find a place quickly. I didn't want to stay in SWSC any longer than I had to. Then I started looking for housing. In Raleigh, I found, the average rent is considerably higher than $526/month, and not many complexes take Section 8 Vouchers. After a week of looking but not finding, I asked for help from the shelter. My 'facilitator', Shantavia Alexander, was unfortunately injured herself because of a pinched nerve in her back. She was in and out of the building to the point where I did not see her.

I continued my pursuit of a place to live, but in the meantime, 30+ men from the shelter were booted at the end of August 2013 because they had lived there too long. No other reason, other than they had not found jobs. I can't speak for all of them, but I tried like a maniac to find a job in my time.

I was not one of those booted, because I had that voucher and it still had 30 days left on it. Again I asked for help, but received nothing more than a list of places that at one time or another took Section 8. The problem with the list: most of the properties on there either had age restrictions, 55+, 62+ etc., or they wanted more money than the voucher paid for.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and time was running out. I went to RHA and, per their written instructions, asked for an extension in writing. They said they made it very clear that no extensions would be granted. I asked if they knew of any place that would take the voucher. They said no, but there must be a lot of them because they had plenty of applications. (Personally I couldn't see the sense of that statement. You had the applications, but you couldn't tell me where they came from?) I left my written request with them but could not track down a place before the voucher expired.

I moved around the shelter carefully, expecting at any time to be removed, but that day hadn't come yet. I did get a verbal aside from my facilitator that the day was coming, but she didn't give me a particular day. What she told me, though, was that there are no excuses for not having a job. I felt for her, really, because she missed so much time in August and was in a wheel chair or walker and moves slowly through the hallways, but she's not using her injuries as an excuse. Except for the time when I needed her the most, to help me find housing when I had a voucher.

Still, I looked for work, and tried to establish my own business, called 'I Choose Not To Talk,' an organization that promotes a better understanding between introverts and extroverts. I established an Indiegogo campaign to raise money, and started designing buttons and T-shirts, hoping that enough money would be generated to get me out of the shelter before the hammer fell. So far, I've been wrong. The campaign is in its last 7 days. Please donate!

But then Wednesday came along and now everyone in the program has been given an ultimatum: Get out on your own or we'll put you out.

When I found this out, I was livid. Is this what a shelter is for? I know that Frank Lawrence, the center director is embarrassed by the fact that there are people living in his shelter who have been there more than a year. He made it sound like he was doing a bad thing by giving homeless men a chance to recover. Apparently other shelters don't give that much time, why should he?

Well, after having the 'Hearth Act' stuffed down my throat for the last 2 years, I sat down and read it today. Here are some highlights that have a bearing on me:

c) CERTIFICATIONS ON USE OF ASSISTANCE.—Each recipient shall certify to the

Secretary that—

(3) it will assist homeless individuals in obtaining—

(A) appropriate supportive services, including permanent housing, medical and

mental health treatment, counseling, supervision, and other services essential for

achieving independent living; and

(B) other Federal, State, local, and private assistance available for such

individuals;

Actually, SWSC has provided quite a bit of that assistance, but not the one I needed most: permanent housing. I tried to apply for a Shelter+ Care voucher, and was told that only disabled people qualified for that. Part of the problem with the Section 8 voucher was the limits put on it by RHA. Limits of $526/month. Shelter Care + doesn't have that limit, and I'm told neither did RHA until recently. The fact is I may not qualify for SSDI, but I AM disabled. I do have difficulty performing physical labor.

I am in the process of getting help from Vocational Rehabilitation. They recognize that I have a disability and have helped me in two regards so far: They arranged for all my teeth to be pulled and dentures made; and they are arranging for me to take computer certification classes at NCSU. Mind you, it took them almost a full year to begin those services after I applied, but the process has begun. I can't easily attend classes when I'm not sure where I'm going to sleep from night to night.

I don't believe that those who wrote the Hearth Act had it in mind that  people would be kicked out of shelters just because they've used it for longer than a year or even 60 days. As Frank has said, it is meant to hold shelters accountable for what goes on in them. Yes, I agree with that, but accountable should be to the occupants of the shelter, not to some government agency that seems to think that there should be a time limit to such stays.

Or better yet, SWSC should be accountable to actually providing the services that the act states it should provide. The problem is there isn't enough staff, and both staff and 'guests' are becoming frustrated with their end of the stick. Staff has too much work, and guests don't get enough of the services they need.

This is not what the Hearth Act is all about. Because if this is what they meant, to kick homeless people out of the shelter after a certain amount of time, then they lack empathy.

So let's look at ways the Act could help, if written properly:

• Let's get homeless men and women priority in hiring for government jobs. Not that working for the government is stable, but every little bit helps.
• Let's better define what makes a person disabled. I was denied SSDI because I can be retrained. Fine, I working on that. Give me time to finish that.
• Separate those seeking help from those not. Give better service to those that are seeking help, and basic services to those not.

Those are just a few suggestions to make the Hearth Act a little better. I'm by no means an expert in any field, but I know what works and what doesn't and right now, the Hearth Act isn't doing what it's supposed to be doing.

So 30 days to find a job, then 30 days to find housing. What happens after that? I fear that revolving door will return. Or worse: that the shelter will close, because everyone will be kicked out. But don't tell that to Frank, because he insists the shelter will remain open.

Will I get the help I need to accomplish one or both of those goals? Because I sure didn't the last time through.


I have worked my butt off for the last 4 years to prevent being homeless or to get out of being homeless without much to show for it. I take that back. I've become old and tired before my time. But even that works against me, making it that much harder to find a job or get income rolling in.

But neither my facilitator, nor the case manager, nor the center director, nor Wake County government, nor the State Assembly, nor the Governor of North Carolina, nor Congress, nor the President of the United States knows what I've gone through to find a job and live at this shelter.

As I stated in my book, the only thing keeping me alive at the moment is Hope. Wasn't that the theme of a recent presidential election? I'm not seeing much of it right now.

The staff sees a sheet of paper once a week showing how many jobs I applied to, but they don't see me walking 45 minutes each way to use Wake Tech's computers to not only apply for jobs, but to do what I can with no money and limited time and energy to build my own business. I may lack the business skills to make it work, but I have the drive and initiative to make it work. But I can't do it alone and my energy is running out.

And so, apparently, is time. I'll have to live in the woods, go to classes two nights a week, then drag myself back to the library to put more effort into raising money.  It might pay off someday, but I don't have time to wait forever.

All because someone thought giving homeless a time limit in shelters was a good idea. And I'll bet that person never spent one night in a shelter.

If you can't give me a job, a business loan or housing just give me the one thing I need the most right now: Hope.

There are no excuses for a lack of empathy.

The Indiegogo campaign for 'I Choose Not To Talk' is in its final days. If you'd like to donate, please start here: http://igg.me/at/ichoosenottotalk/x/5011549.

Alternatively, if you'd like more information on Project Five-Star, you may purchase the book at http://www.amazon.com/Project-Five-Star-Five-Points-Hope/dp/1463765053/

Pushed By the Wayside Again

Homelessness is a serious problem. I've been homeless now since 2010, off and on. I blame no one but myself for being homeless. I just need help getting out of the rut that I'm in.

And therein lies the problem. People who are not homeless might sympathize with me, but somehow that problem keeps getting pushed aside - literally in the case of Columbia South Carolina, where it is now illegal to be homeless and be downtown at all.

So people would rather ignore the problem of homelessness, or think it's someone else's problem rather than one they could act on. Sure, church groups feed the homeless, but do they offer permanent housing to them? And the simple fact is, if you take all the money spent on 'helping' homeless, like in shelters and soup kitchens and clothing drives and everything else being done for homeless people and concentrate it on housing, training and health care, including mental health, you'd solve the problem in no time flat.

But no, the solutions offered are all stop-gap methods of placating the homeless, not curing their real problems.

If you concentrated on making the homeless self-sufficient, there would be no problems that didn't involve mental illness, which is another whole animal.

How about giving homeless hiring advantages/preferences to city, state and county jobs? Assuming they have the basic qualifications, it would be solving two problems at once.

Frankly, I'm tired of playing the game. I'm supposed to go one place to get food stamps, another to get lunch for free. I'm supposed to be mobile enough to look for work, but the number of bus passes available is extremely limited and walking is so severely limiting in how far away I can go, and bad for the health of a diabetic.

And I know that there are a lot of important things going on right now. I read the news. I know there's a lot on people's minds. But please don't push aside this problem, because it will come right back. As long as nothing is done about it, it's like a slinky going down the stairs. It may seem like it's going away, but until a permanent solution that does not involve shooing us out of town is found, we'll come right back. We are a NATIONAL problem, not local. There should be a NATIONAL solution, not local, and limiting stays in shelters is not the solution. Finding permanent homes is the solution. Please get to work on that, and leave the other politics for another time.

Even in my case, with a Section 8 voucher in hand, I am having difficulties finding an affordable apartment that has openings. Think how bad it is for those that do not have a voucher. Please concentrate. This is important. It will only get worse. And then it will cost more money.

Addendum: I'm not sure I got my point across yesterday. So here goes again. Homelessness is an important issue, and I think some people agree with that, but something seems to always be more important than someone else being homeless, unless that someone is you. I understand that things happen in life that take precedence and I'm not saying we're more important that life-threatening emergencies, but as Frank Lawrence, the director at the shelter says, (paraphrasing) we, the homeless, have to treat the shelter as an emergency, and not as a permanent solution. That said, I'm not altogether sure the shelter is abiding by that, because they simply don't help enough. And if the shelter staff don't help enough, how can anyone expect the rest of the country to treat it as the emergency that it is. I'm panicking because I'm running out of time myself. And I have a means of getting out. But no one else sees that. That is the real problem. No one sees it as an emergency and most people really hope it will go away on its own. That kind of thinking really needs to stop.

Shelter Life: The Walking Wounded

It seems like every time I walk around the shelter these days I see people who are walking with the aid of walkers, or crutches, or not walking at all because they are in wheelchairs. I see arms in slings and legs in casts. The numbers are increasing, not decreasing.

I hear coughing all the time, and not just from me. The guy who just moved into the bed next to me coughed so hard that he passed out, and he says it's happened before. He refused to be taken to the hospital for whatever the reason.

People think of homeless as bums who just want a hand out. As one who is one of those walking wounded, I object to the stereotype. But my wounds are not obvious. I can walk, though with a limp. I walk in pain, though not a great deal of it, but if I go downstairs or upstairs, you may notice me taking them one at a time. I walk up a step with my left leg then bring my right leg with me. Repeat as necessary. The opposite is true, even more so, because stepping down on my right leg causes more pain and I'm afraid that the leg will give in.

My shoulder is even less obvious, unless I am requested to lift something. I got chewed out by another homeless guy because he didn't see anything wrong with me. Use your eyes, please.

The point is, though, that everyone's perception is different and you can't tell a book from its cover. Even though my body is not at 100%, my mind is. Give me something to do with my mind. I'll prove it.

In other news, I am taking the START Hospitality course at Wake Tech, and as the course draws to a close, the opportunities are starting to open up. For instance i had an interview yesterday at a Hilton Garden Inn in Raleigh, and the manager there apparently knew the guy who runs the Hospitality course. With my teeth the way they are (come on, Voc Rehab, get your a$$ in gear) I don't think I made a very good impression, but at least I am making the effort, and just getting the interview is an experience that will help with other interviews.

Hope is all I have left at this point.

Santa Claus is Homeless

That's right, we have our very own Santa Claus at South Wilmington Street Center. His real name is Bradlee, but he answers to Santa and Santa Claus, because he looks like Santa.

Sadly though, he does not share Santa's magical nature. He is over 400 lbs, has Diabetes and breathing issues, to the point where he uses a machine to help him breathe. His legs and feet are discolored, and he can barely walk.

He used to be in the Merchant Marines, and has stories to tell from that era. He showed me a picture of Hiroshima after the bomb dropped and also ones he took there recently.

He was most recently a cab driver, but lost that job when the company he worked for made him take a physical, which he failed.

Yet he can be jovial at times. During Christmas he wore a red Santa hat and I'm sure the kids who came in to help serve thought he might be Santa. But this Santa is sick. A sick as the real Santa would be if he were not magical. He just got approved for Medicaid and is fighting for disability benefits.

Yes, Santa is homeless, jobless and sick and relying on the government for help. Let's hope this Santa gets his wish!

My Body is Revolting

All right, old joke aside, I had a bad Sunday. First I endured as much as I could stand of an insane person's diatribe. His words are not repeatable as far as I'm concerned. This happened outside SWSC, while I was waiting for the center to reopen for the day. (It's open to everyone during the day, Saturdays and Sundays and in this case Labor Day Monday.)

I took as much of the hatred for women that the man spewed before I started walking downtown to get something cold to drink. I was passing Shaw University when an uneven sidewalk caused me to trip.

Normally, with a healthy knee and shoulder, I might have been able to catch myself. But this time, momentum and the weight of a 50 lb backpack caused me to just fall forward, on the very shoulder that I injured last February. I hit the cement hard, on my right side, with the full force of the backpack adding injury to insult.

I lay stunned for a moment, then slowly started to gather myself. My glasses had been thrown to one side (turns out I bonked my head slightly), my hat had gone in the other direction. I slowly slipped off my backpack and rolled over. My chest hurt. But everything else seemed okay. I stood slowly, painfully and then tried to put my backpack on. More pain.

I hobbled to where I could sit down, and the act of sitting was painful, as was the act of breathing. But once I sat and calmed down, I felt somewhat better.

Then I tried to get up again and it started all over again. I slowly made my way to  Moore Square bus terminal and used my last dollar to ride to Wake Med Hospital.

After waiting a couple of hours there, then waiting some more for results of X-rays, I was told that nothing was broken, but my chest wall was bruised. He recommended 5-7 days bed rest. I was somewhat happy about that because I thought I could get a temporary bed at SWSC with that note.

I was discharged, given a bus pass to get me back to the shelter and arrived, very sore, and tried to present the note to staff.

I was told that only my regular doctor or management could arrange a rest bed. I was told management would not be in until Tuesday because of the holiday and I was SOL for getting the rest bed I needed.

I called my doctor's office, got their answering service, and got a callback from the doctor on call (not my regular doctor), who apparently did not know the procedure for obtaining a rest bed, but she did talk to staff at SWSC, who arranged for me to have a bed until the proper paperwork could be filed.

Seems like a lot of work to do for someone who's already injured. Gotta be a better way.

So last night I did sleep in an actual bed, on the side that was injured because I read that was the right thing to do. I was awoken at midnight by someone having a conversation in his sleep, but managed to get back to sleep and get a fair night in.

This morning my chest still hurts, but I also find pain in my right shoulder, which I thought had escaped additional injury. I don't think it's any worse than it was, just more aggravated.

But last night I started thinking that my body is staging a revolution, bent on wresting control of my body from me. Maybe it's just tired of being tired, of sleeping on the floor, of walking altogether too many places in the last couple of weeks, laden with a 50 lb backpack the whole way.

I don't blame it. But I think I'd like to maintain control of my body for a little bit longer. At least getting some bed rest means I won't be carrying the backpack everywhere.

So, while a coup d'etat rages in my body, my mind is in control, and with luck, will remain so.

Have a happy Labor Day!

The Reality of Being Homeless

I've chronicled my problems with homelessness off and on on this blog. I've suggested ideas for helping that situation based on my own experiences. I call it Project Five-Star. I even wrote a book on it. I've sold a few, and given away hundreds, yet the message doesn't get passed on somehow.

I searched for ways to raise money and found Go Fund Me. I advertised that link on Twitter, Facebook and G+. I have not received any donations yet, though my updates on that site clearly state what I want to accomplish with the first $100,000.

Perhaps people are wary of my spending habits. So sue me for wanting to better myself and start my own business. And by the way, Mike's News Hangout is slowing making money. But it's like 50 cents a day, instead of the $50 a day I need to continue working. I have no doubt that it will eventually grow, but for now, I'll take what I can get.

But Project Five-Star not only helps me, it helps others, stuck in the cycle. I had a conversation with a couple of them while waiting for space in the shelter tonight. None of us got in. One man gets into the program and winds up getting kicked out on a regular basis. He has no qualms about it. He doesn't want to be in the program, but it's the only way to get a bed every night. This man suffered a stroke some time ago and speaks slowly, but clearly. He's been homeless 10 years, and the other man commented: "But don't they know that? Why are you in the streets still?"

The simple truth is no one wants to help the chronically homeless and/or addicted, because it's throwing money away.

Tonight I sit on a bench in Downtown Raleigh, afraid to sleep because I'll either be robbed or shaken awake by a cop. The deputy at SWSC tossed us off the property when it became apparent there were no more beds. I don't blame them, they are just doing a job.

So what can YOU do about this problem?

That's right - YOU! I've done my best to explain what goes on in a shelter. I've provided a means to help. So why aren't you helping? What must I do to get you to donate to Project Five-Star?

The riots that have sparked revolutions all over the Middle East were touched off by a man burning himself to death. I don't want to go to that extreme to bring attention to the problem of homeless people all over our country. But why does it take such a violent act, and groups like Occupy Wall Street to get the attention of people?

The simple truth is no act should be necessary. I was riding the R-Line this afternoon, where a small TV played an even smaller picture of 'Let's Make a Deal' when I saw an ad on that TV that said 'If a panhandler gets aggressive, call 911.' Or something to that affect. If was sponsored by a group at promoterealchange.com. The group suggests instead of giving your money to panhandlers, you give it to the Raleigh Rescue Mission, the Salvation Army and other non-profit organizations.

I do not normally like panhandlers. I'm trying hard not to be one, but being hungry and tired from a day's walk can drive a man to extremes. Salvation Army does not have a men's shelter. I have never been to the Raleigh Rescue Mission, because I prefer my shelters to be non-religious. I had my fill of the Rescue Mission in Roanoke, and I've described that elsewhere. (Shudders)

But getting back to the panhandlers, The community wants to take the money out of the hands of panhandlers, and put it in the hands of shelters. I don't necessarily agree with that, but if you're going to donate, donate to an organization that will attempt actual Real Change: Project Five-Star.

I've seen a few people leave the shelter and not come back. A good friend of mine left last Fall and I haven't seen him since. That's a good thing. Yet I've also seen a lot of people who were at the shelter when I left the last time, and are still there now. Some are looking for permanent homes. Some are looking for jobs. Some are there for the free bed and food. I'd have to say most of them are like that.

I was going to write a piece on the revolving door of the shelter, but that's not fair. A few people are churned out each week so a new batch can get in (mostly the same people), but most of them are there, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. The last time I was in the program I was there over a year, looking for a job every day until my accident.

Project Five Star is designed to be a short-term way of providing training to those that are homeless. Yes, I'd like to provide them with shelter and a little money while they train. I know the realities of getting enough money for that, which is why I put in the ability for us to raise our own money through providing services that will give the participants real world experience, and money they can save for permanent housing once they find that permanent job.

Short-term. SWSC is trying to do something too, but I have my doubts about whether it's truly the short-term they want.

So do you want your money to go to someplace that provides a bed and dinner and nothing else, or to a county-sponsored shelter that's trying to do the right thing but is leaving men out every night?

Or do you want to give to something that eventually will provide both?

You decide. And please decide now. Winter is coming!

Why I Want to be a Social Media Journalist

A few posts back, I laid forth an idea for a business, where I would buy a van, a computer or two, a few cameras, a wifi router, and then go out and about the world whoring myself making video to be posted on youtube. I want to take a moment to talk about why I want to do this.

First, it's a source of income. Yes, I'll need to borrow to make it happen, but based on what I've read on the youtube site, it's possible to make substantial amounts of money through partnering with youtube. I also suggested building a web site with live streaming video and selling ad space there.

Second, it's a chance to leave a lasting impression. I'm a writer, primarily, and my writing has not taken off yet, so how then can I be remembered after I'm gone? By making a video that goes viral. Maybe making many videos that go viral. It doesn't take much. I could film cats in cute positions all day and post that and probably make a lot of money. But being homeless, I don't have a cat.

Even so, this is not how I want to be remembered. In the late '90's I took several Broadcast Journalism courses, and even worked at two television stations behind the scenes. I would have loved to be behind the camera during a live event back then, but I was stuck in the studio, behind a camera, editing video, running a CHYRON and an audio board, popping tapes in and out of a player. I was, for a brief time, an Associate Director, which meant I ran the board that actually displays the videos on-air. Unfortunately, my dexterity and the patience of the producer proved to be less than optimal. I still loved the whole news.journalism thing, and though I got out of the field, I'd like to join it again - on my terms.

Third, I want to be there as events unfold this year. If the Mayans are right (and who am I to argue with an extinct race of humans) 2012 will likely be one of the busiest news years ever. Even without the Mayans, things are happening all over the world that need someone to record them. Much of the mainstream media is ignoring, or worse, putting down the Occupy movement, which I think is a very bad idea. We have a Presidential election going on, and two conventions that need an impartial eye watching not only the candidates, but the people around the conventions: protesters, law enforcement, the movers and shakers of Washington. I want to be there for those events and make some money from them!

Fourth, lest you think I'm attention whore, I'd like to cover other parts of the American way of life: baseball games, football games, basketball, hockey and not just professional. I'd like to travel from city to city, town to town and take the pulse of America. It has been too many years since we saw something along the line of 'On the Road with Charles Kuralt.' I'd like to cover major and minor events. Since I'm a geek, I'd like to cover geeky stuff, like anime conventions, Doctor Who, ComicCon, and the like. And then I'd like to post the results on youtube and make some money on it.

The goal for the first year of operation, other than covering the conventions, is to hit every Major League ball park for a game and a tour, and to look at what kind of people go to those games. I'd like to do the same for NFL football, the NBA and the NHL.

And if in my travels I happen to be around when a major news story breaks, well then I'll have the privilege of covering that, maybe even exclusively. I want to cover social issues that are near and dear to me, like the Occupy movement, like the homeless situation in each city or town I breeze through. I want people to see what's really happening in America.

Fifth, I want to host and moderate Google Plus Hangouts with people who have ideas, or people who have educated opinions on the events of the day, who have answers to the questions that people are asking, like what the hell's a Google Hangout anyway? I'd like that to be done on a daily basis.

And finally, I want to travel like I haven't done in years, and really, like I've never done. I feel restless staying in one place too long, and there is so much of America and especially the world that I haven't seen and experienced. I want to experience other cultures, other ways of thinking within this country that I love so dear. I've traveled quite a bit, born in France, moving from state to state and country to country as an Air Force Brat. I want to travel more.

So this is what I want to do. I want to be the most objective, impartial journalist I can be. What do I need? Really, all I need is a van, a high quality camera, a high quality computer (Mac Book Pro!), and access to the internet through cell or satellite systems.

Do I need $100,000 like I asked for? No, not really. But it's nice to have a cushion to fall back on, so that I can take a few weeks to prepare for my journey and not be in the shelter. So that I can buy a new van with a warranty, and can afford the insurance for it. So that I can get the health care things that I need for a healthy body, eyes and mouth. I need glasses. I need to get my teeth fixed. Can I work without them? Well, not the glasses. I need them to drive. Teeth? Maybe. But I'd make a better impression with a mouth full of shiny white teeth than a mouth full of what I have now.

So the call goes out again. I could use help setting up a business plan that will get me a shot at a loan. I could use a co-signer because my credit sucks. If you want to donate equipment, I can do that. If you want to donate or lend money, it would be appreciated and paid back.

I'm trying my best to gather all the tools I need to do this by myself, but even the most affluent people needed help at some point in their lives. So I'm asking for help. Can you please help me? Can you make a difference in the life of someone who has struggled and now only wants a chance to make a difference himself?

The Cost of Being Homeless: Part 1 - Free Speech

Over the weekend I had put together a 3 page, single-spaced diatribe on what to expect when becoming homeless in Raleigh. It occurred to me, though, that people don't want to read how bad things are for homeless people. They might want to hear about overcoming homelessness, as this link suggests. Then after further reflection, the costs of being homeless finally came to mind. Not the monetary kind of costs, but other costs. This is the first of a new series of articles, short articles, I promise, that will cover those costs.
Let's start with the most important cost of all. LOSS OF FREE SPEECH.
When you become homeless and complain about it, people get turned off. It happens. 'Get a job' and things like that. I can't complain about how bad things are because people will think of me as a whiny, ungrateful bastard. 'You're getting everything for free and you have the nerve to complain about it?'
The problem with that, is things are so bad that complaints need to be registered and heard. If people tune me out because I complain about the 'free' food and 'free' shelter, then things will never improve. And they need to improve, or things will never get any better. Trust me, they need to get better, or the whole homeless situation will never go away.
And it's not just outside the shelter where free speech is lost. I can't complain to a person who's in a bunk next to me, because he refuses to take a shower and is stinking the entire dorm. He just tells me to 'F*ck off.'
Complaining to staff frequently falls on deaf ears, because they are understaffed and overworked, and since they have heard it all before, they think they can ignore you and get away with it. And they do.
Because no one likes to hear how bad a homeless person has it. Because everything is free.
Anyone else see a problem here? Or am I just talking to myself?

Is Writing Real Work?

I've been told by my case manager that I need to find a job. I've been tempted to tell him i have a job: a writer!
I know he'll roll his eyes at me and ask how much it pays.
Most of the people in the shelter who don't have a job just hang around various places, doing nothing. And the person running the shelter says things are going to change.
That got me wondering. Can I truly claim that I'm more productive than those who sit around doing nothing, just because I write blogs, and sit in the cafeteria at night typing away at scripts? Is writing a profession or a hobby? Some might say that depends on whether you get paid or not. I suppose, when you've got no other source of income, that matters.
I am going to try to convince my case manager that what I do, night after night, is better than doing nothing at all, which is what most men in the shelter are doing. And, of course, I am still looking for work during the day, though until I get my ID and a new phone, the number of jobs I apply for will be limited.
So what does the rest of the world think? Does the potential income and definite physical labor of writing beat out sitting around doing nothing? I am worthy to stay in the shelter over the rest of the deadbeats?
You decide!

End of a Bad Week

Well, the whole week wasn't bad, but the last 2 days of it were devastating.
First, Thursday I had put my phone on a table just inside the shelter, while I got the usual search. I apparently forgot to pick it up, and when  remembered about 1 minute later it was gone. Nobody saw anything, which really is a shame.
Anyway, no phone and no cash at the moment tog et a new one. Still waiting on the state tax refund (45 days my ass.)
The second event, much more devastating than the first was the loss of my wallet. I had taken my bus pass out to board the bus, and thought I had put the wallet back in my pocket. When I got off one bus to get on another, I found my wallet gone, about 30 seconds had passed. I went right back to the bus I had just got off of and sure enough, the wallet was gone. the bus driver said someone else had claimed it.
Now, I realize that both these incidents were entirely my fault, but the fact that no one in charge even offered to help me get back my belongings really ticks me off. the thief in the shelter was still in the shelter and the security guard (Wake County Sheriff) did not even bother to help me look. The bus driver only said it was an older guy and did nothing else.
I sometimes wonder if anyone really cares anymore. Let's all go to hell in a hand basket. And you bet this will go into my script! The whole point of the script and through out the script it will be reiterated is: There has to be a better way. We need to care as a society about our homeless, about our jobless, and about each other period.
I can only hope the state tax refund comes soon, and even then I'm going to have to replace my ID before I can cash it. My frustration is building.

Suggestions for Jobs

Since posting my resume, I've received several suggestions on what kind of job I should apply for.
I know what my background suggests. I know that I do not have any legitimate writing experience save my books, my blogs and my screenplays.
I know that my background suggests I stay in tech support. I'm sick to death of phone work. I may be willing to take tech support work if I can work using strictly email or even IM. Sadly, those jobs are few and far between, and are usually outsourced because you can't hear an accent over email or over IM!
So I'm back to what I want to do, which is write. I could take those kinds of jobs I hate, but I'm not that desperate yet. Those kinds of jobs will be around when I am desperate, because they have a high turnover rate, which might lead one to think they aren't the best jobs in the world.
Yet, they are jobs, and if it comes down to it, I'll take one, but I need a break.
So I continue my writing binge. I'm working on scripts, novels, and yes, resumes! I'm working on applying for jobs. I'm working on surviving in a homeless shelter where respect and privacy simply don't exist. I'm not going to complain about it, anymore.  People seem to think I'm ungrateful. So you will hear no more about how bad it is, except to compare it to life in the streets, which is infinitely worse.
So the saga continues, and until something positive happens, you probably won't hear from me!