Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Debilitating Migraine

I went home from work early today with a migraine.

A lot of people think that those that suffer from migraines are faking it or exaggerating the symptoms, so I want ro describe to you what I felt like today and you can make up your own damn mind.

Yes, being easily irritated is a symptom, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I first felt a migraine in 1993 when a co-worker wore too much perfume. I didn't realize at the time what it was except an allergic reaction. So smells can be a trigger for me. Stress can also be a trigger.

Today's migraine was caused by a combination the two, both attributed to the same person, a coworker. I won't say what caused the stress, but wafting cologne in my direction didn't help.

It starts with a feeling of irritation at the slightest provocation. I'd been feeling out of sorts all morning, but that could be caused by a number of things. But after the cologne hit me, the irritation grew, First at the jerk who wore too much, then at the people I was trying to help. And you don't realize that you're irritated until you suddenly snap at someone who is trying to help you. I did that with a co-worker who sent an instant message while I was on a particularly annoying call. Don't get me wrong, even without the migraine building up, I would have found that call annoying, but I would have forgotten about it, even laughed at it under normal circumstances.

But today that wasn't the case. After the call mercifully ended, and before I could reach through the phone to strangle this woman who didn't want to GET OFF MY PHONE, I got another message from the co-worker who said he only wanted to know if it was the same person he had talked to earlier. It wasn't, but that made me realize something was wrong.

I hadn't felt the tell-tale signs of pressure behind my right eye, but I knew I was off-kilter. I sent an email asking to leave early, and only when I was shutting down my system did I start to feel the pressure.

As I started home, the other symptoms of a migrane came forth: sensitivity to light, and noises. That meant the noisy construction site across from where I worked made me feel worse, The sounds of buses and trains made me feel worse, I really wanted to strangle two of the subway musicians that play all the time. AND WHY IS THE TRAIN TAKING SO MUCH TIME TO GET HERE!!!

When the train finally came I forced myself into an empty seat that SOMEONE WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF, OH WHY IS HE DOING THAT!??? and settled in. I covered my sensitive eyes with my 'I Choose Not To Talk' cap, and prayed for no delays. I made it home safely, and began to write this blog. I'm preparing to shut down my computer, put out the lights and curl into a fetal position and try to ignore the sounds of sirens and my neighbors.

It's times like this that I wish I'd get off my butt and find a leathermaker who can make a prototype of my Thinking Cap, something resembling a flying cap with flaps over the ears and eyes that will block out sights and sounds. Someday, but not today. Good night.